The photos show today's presents from my sons: a heart necklace and button earrings. Mr. Nest gave me this chocolate cookbook. Can you see me in the photo?
In my life, aunts have played very important roles in mothering, caring and providing. I've got my Tita Dude (yes, that's her nickname and we call her Tadot) in the States/America who continues to think only of her nieces and nephews; Aunty Freddy, who sent me to a private high school and supported me during my high school and uni years; Tita Vilma, to whom I could always run to for help while I studied in the big bad city; Tita Nenette (Tanenet) who could give you an alternate view on things, a literary wit, and a linguistic expert; Tita Bing who is married to my uncle, knows many baking secrets, and always delightful company. I've got tons of aunts (whom Filipinos call "Tita" more endearingly), whether connected by blood or simply my family's friendship. All these women, near and far, have helped me become the woman, mother and friend I am today.
My own sisters are wonderful aunts to my sons. They don't simply help with the caring (especially when they are here) and teaching/mentoring, but oozing with affectionate fun, talent and coolness/hipness, which my boys see with awe. My friends from childhood and schooldays have become "tita" to my own sons, and are familiar to them, even if they are oceans away. Mr. Nest's own aunts and his cousins in Sydney (mostly female) are wonderful aunts who spoil and adore the boys.
More importantly, I've recently realized that I've crafted good friendships with women in Australia. This realization grew stronger as I came out of a funk last year and as my sense of self grew stronger. (None of them know of this struggle, by the way, so you can't say it's "pity-friendship" besides friendship out of pity doesn't work!)
Since last year, I have enjoyed the company of mums in the little one's school and they are amazing, funny, helpful and down to earth. The mums I've come to befriend since 5 years ago, in my older boys' school, have also become staunch friends. I've had my share of heartaches in female friendships, learned some hard and fast lessons about cultural differences in female kinship, and grew quite jaded last year. However, it's not really as dramatic nor traumatic as that sounds (still painful, though), but I've finally discovered and refined the idea of who my friends are.
I've discovered that I get along really well with older women. Most of them have university age (and older) children. I've been having coffees and pub nights since last year and look forward to these times. Especially in the last several months, I've come to have regular dates, coffee meets, tete-a-tetes with them.
On my last biopsy, one mum in my son's school (not really a close friend) even asked me, "do you want me to drive you to the hospital and back to home?" Thus, where I am now far from my own mother, aunts and their circle of women friends, equally generous women around me have taken their place.
Right this minute, I feel more thankful --even more so perhaps than husbands, children and grandchildren--for these women whom I can name. They number more than my ten fingers. What a great blessing to be loved staunchly by other women--mothers all who are beseiged by their own concerns!
This is what I give thanks most on this Mother's Day: my eyes are opened to the women around me who help raise my children; who love and admire me, as I do them.
0 comments:
Post a Comment